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Sigh

Today is my last day of work, so I am sitting here waiting to be able to leave.

Yesterday the ultrasound showed the baby was still doing well, and still stubborn as you can get. He kept sleeping for a pretty long time before co-operating enough to wake up and move sufficiently for the tech to move on, so unfortunately no 3d pictures from this session. I think he tired himself out in the waiting room trying to punch through my abdomen.

Then this morning at the doctors I found out that I will be on the induction list for tomorrow. I'm not really keen on getting induced, but Dr. R. thinks that if I wait, there is more chance for my BP to spike and turn me high risk and possibly harm the baby. This is echoed by the fact that it was not a great reading today at the appt, where my diastolic went up substantially more than it ever has (though the systolic wasn't all that bad as it goes). I was also 1cm dilated at the appointment so I'm really hoping that things get moving tonight before medical procedures have to help it along.

Of course, being on the list doesn't mean I will have the baby tomorrow anyway. First the head of obstetrics triages the people on the list (and being that I am mostly healthy and not really all that far past the calendrical due date, I probably am not all that important. Then they have to actually induce me. That can take time. I know women who have been induced over a period of several days (who's to say that nature didn't just kick in on its own vs the medication at that point, for pete's sake?). Then I still have to go through the labour.

What I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't expect a baby tomorrow, I guess, even if they take me. But Dr. R said she'd be very surprised if I attended my ultrasound next Tuesday. I'm not looking forward to this whole induction thing, and it probably won't be terribly convenient for Adrian given his work situation and the house situation at the moment. But I'd rather not tempt fate to be honest. Induction doesn't scare the every-lovin' crap out of me, but it surely doesn't strike me as a pleasant procedure.

Ah well. Better than a crash C-section. Sigh.

Renos, etc.

I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel for the renos finally. The guys are hoping that as of Tuesday pretty much everything will be done and they'll be able to clear out at that point. There's still some insulating stuff to happen in the knee walls, but the vast majority of in-room work seems to be done. I just regret that we couldn't have had enough time or money to get the trim and doors refinished (much less the floors, it would've been ideal for that as well), as we're using the existing stuff. So I guess that will be a future series of projects, but whatever. So from December 7 to now... *sigh*

We also got a price adjustment on a closet organizer we picked up from Home Depot, since Canadian Tire had it at a better sale price this weekend than the sale price we originally got it at. I was so happy about it that we picked up a second one--we were originally just going to try it out in our room and see about what we might do with the baby's room after putting ours in, but the reduced price was too good to pass up since it's temporary and an extra 10% off the competitor's. So if anyone is curious about the Rubbermaid Configurations sets... we should be able to tell you how they work out in a week or two. If we don't like the set that much, we'll just return the second one.

The baby still can't decide what he wants to do. He'll drop, then pop up for a while and try to stretch out through my upper abdomen again. It gets better if I walk around, but I'm technically not supposed to be up and walking around while I'm at home. I almost don't care at this point though because he's bruising my innards and it damned well hurts. No one tells you how much it hurts to have someone inside you try to get out--everyone keeps telling me that no one ever told them about constipation or whatever other symptom of pregnancy, but I find it's really the baby trying to escape Alien-style that is the worst part for me. It hurts a freakin' lot, and at least if it was pain with contractions it'd have a purpose. This? Not so much.

But at least we're probably mostly decently adverbially equipped for the baby's arrival. While the crib isn't here, there is one waiting to be picked up once the nursery can hold it. And we have most of the essential items. I still don't really have a nice new chair to sit and feed the baby in, but perhaps I can fiddle around with one of the existing chairs and make it more comfortable through judicious use of pillows or something. I managed to wash pretty much all the baby clothes and blankets, etc. that we have, so that's all ready, and other than a few small things to pick up I think that's about all I can do until I can get into the upstairs rooms.

The basement is coming along, more than halfway framed now. Adrian's hoping to finish framing and getting the electrical done by the end of tomorrow so we can get the inspectors in on Monday. We'll have to pick up another Home Depot gift card from Safeway (I figure that way we can use the 100 airmile coupon and get additional airmiles) before the day is out, since we'll still need to buy all the wiring supplies for that part of the project--which I might even be able to help with since it's not lifting and hefting etc.

Anyhow, I'm going to stop blathering now.

no news is no news...

No news on the car, since autopac is behind.
No news on the baby, other than the ultrasound said he's fine.
No news on the renos, though primer is going up today and they continue to soldier on.

This ultrasound was much nicer this time. We were at the actual fetal assessment unit, which has better equipment, warmed jelly, and apparently better techs. They actually did a few 3D images and printed off some pictures for us. Although the baby was stubborn (big surprise considering parents...) and had his hand in front of his face most of the time, but not enough to mask that he was smiling and intermittently sticking his tongue out! I figure he was clearly blocking us on purpose! Luckily i felt him move and he co-operated briefly so we have pictures, even though they are not the clearest (the tech apologised, even, but I didn't care--at least it's something). And he is most definitely a boy, so there's not much uncertainty there, though my dad still refuses to believe it until he comes out.

I am starting to get annoyed when I show up at one office or another or someone calls my phone and says something like, "Oh, you're still here?! You mean you haven't had the baby yet?!" like I should have disappeared long ago into some scheduled labour that's prior to my due date...  Not to mention if I appear (or answer the phone), then the answer to the question is pretty self-evident, isn't it? I'm really not likely to just hang out in my office after having a baby. My work ethic just isn't that obsessive.

On the plus side, I began the orientation for my replacement as of Monday, though she is very late coming in today. She had a medical appt, but still. I'm trying to not do her job so she can learn it even though she seems perfectly happy to just watch me do things (that would put me to sleep since it's administrative stuff that she's watching)... this makes me wonder a little, but whatever.

I'm starting to get a little stir-crazy at home and feel lonely while I'm there, but when I have time to spend with people, it doesn't seem to match up. Adrian is sinking all his time into either work (he came home for a bit then went back in for an 8 hour all-nighter, napped a bit, then drove me to work and headed over to sleep at my parents' place since the reno guys were going to be making noise at the house) or finishing the basement work, which I am starting to seriously worry about. We could finish it for Hydro, but I'm worried that the inspectors will delay things so we can't get it done in time for the ecoenergy grant evaluation.

Oh, and I'm a little put out that the valentine's gift from last year that Adrian got me, a mini stereo system, has already died. It's not even a year old, but I don't think the warranty went any longer than 3 months!

Days go by...

No news on the car yet, as to whether it was a write-off or not. Perhaps we'll find out today.

I tried to get my office set up so that if I can't show to work on Monday my replacement will at least have the virtue of a few things to do, seeing as she starts then. And unfortunately if I'm not there, then there's really no one to orient her to the position. This is why I had requested her to start earlier, but whatever. And anyhow, I wasn't really expecting to have to take an early leave anyway.

The baby will come when it comes, and it doesn't really matter what I think about that. I figure if I just keep thinking it'll be soon, eventually it actually will be, and then I'll be wishing it wasn't when I go through the labour part of it ;)

On a side note related to labour and delivery, in watching season 5 of Alias we saw the episode where Sydney gives birth. Can I just say that was one of the least believable delivery scenes I have ever seen in TV? Even Punky Brewster was better back in the 80s when Punky got stuck in an elevator with a pregnant woman! Sad, sad, episode that didn't seem remotely believable. The writing in Alias is also slipping a little bit, leaving massive plot holes that leave me skeptical. However, still very much a worthwhile show to catch... though I have not yet seen the conclusion, which will likely pop up this weekend in a DVD player near me.

The upstairs is starting to come together more and more, which is exciting. We're getting to the stage where dust will start to make a bigger appearance though as they tape/mud/sand the drywall. So nice to feel unfrozen up there. Still have to pick out lighting and paint colours, which I'm hoping we can do this weekend while we have daylight in the room. Otherwise we'd be picking colours based on nighttime, which is kind of moot.

I need to get my mat leave benefits stuff sent in today, whether I post it or drop it off. And we accessed the line of credit for the first time last night so we could get our payment for the reno guys done today. One last payment when they finish, and that's that. Adrian's feeling pretty good about the finances. I'm a little panicky given the car situation (if I have to consider buying another vehicle... ugh. I would give up vehicled life entirely if not for the baby) and the fact that I am always money-paranoid.

So the city also plowed our street for the first time this year before lifting the overnight parking ban. Probably because on top of the two accidents involving our car, one of which remains a hit & run, there were apparently at least 2-3 other areas with shattered car debris and smashed-up cars on our block according to visitors. Maybe if they didn't let foot-deep ruts build up, it wouldn't be a problem. However, maybe if people didn't drive stupidly it also would help. I'm certain that the majority of those accidents could have been prevented easily.

Anyhow... off to work on other things. Possibly a review, even.

wtf?

How does a parked car get hit twice in a 24 hour period? Seriously, wtf?

I suspect our corolla might well be a write off, thanks to at least two jerks who cannot drive properly.
 

At home & surrounded by snow

Today Adrian is off at work to put in some extra hours, then will be heading from there to a dinner with some of his high school buddies. I'm here at home with some free time to myself. I feel like I should somehow put it to good use, since I'm sure it will be at a premium in the future, but I still have some residual anger at having my activity levels curtailed.

The basement is going to be moving ahead a little bit tonight, which is a relief. Adrian bought a 22-gauge (hee--it sounds so weapon-y) concrete nailer thingy at Home Depot and will have a chance to use it tonight with my dad's assistance. I'm kind of sad I can't really do this part of things, because I like that doing that stuff generally. So the basement will be fully moisture barrier-ed and ready for framing. Well, the outer walls at least. This makes me happy, since the countdown to finish it in time for certain grants has really begun. Everything we need to finish up for the national eco-energy grant has to be done by January 27 for us to actually receive any funds. The basement was going to be the biggest part of that, and probably a great way to save money on our gas bills.

In terms of energy savings and making the house more efficient, I think we're on a pretty good road to do that. We already replaced the furnace so it's high efficiency, changed the hotwater tank over to electric, have new windows and exterior doors, are properly insulating and sealing the upstairs bedrooms via the reno guys, and soon the basement will be sealed and insulated. I have this tiny hope of hopes that it will all come together and decrease our heating bill enough that we can net some decent savings that will help out while I'm off work.

Finished reading The Watchmen, I suppose I will probably write up a review in the future.

I wish there was something around the house that I could be doing that seems at all useful. Mundane chores, as helpful as they are, are kind of what I've been limited to for the last little while anyhow. I'd really like to be able to refinish some furniture, as impossible as I know that is being stuck inside in winter. If it was summer I could at least take it out to the garage or patio to try and strip the old finish... And I'd like to get things set up for the upstairs rooms, but it would help if the rooms were rooms first I suppose. If I had a vehicle I'd go to home depot and look at closet doors and paint colours and light fixtures, which we need to figure out for the reno guys by Monday.

If only I could get something useful done, I think I'd feel better.

New year, new post...

So it's the new year. Happy new year!

Adrian and I had planned to have an Alias "marathon" on new year's eve, but when we got home from work, etc., we rapidly realised that he had picked up season 4 disc 5, 6, and 6 (we have not yet seen disc 4). This was problematic. Adrian wanted to go ahead and watch disc 5, which I had a fundamental series-watching difference-of-philosophy with, so he called movie village.

I was actually a little surprised that movie village, called at 2045, scheduled closing at 2100, stalled on the phone for at least 5 mins then would not promise that if Adrian arrived a few minutes late that someone would be there, even though he was calling to ensure this as he was very motivated to get the disc exchanged. I was also a little surprised that the employee who checked out the discs to us didn't say anything when we rented two of the same. Really... wtf? Anyhow, Adrian did not go because it wouldn't have been worth it if no one was indeed there, and instead ended up contacting our local blockbuster, who was open until 2200 and did have the required disc.

I understand people want to get on with their evenings on new year's eve, but that one small amount of time would have made a big difference in the quality of our evening (and general MV experience, which has in the past been very good).

Oh well.

The upstairs is already warmer than it was previously when you step into the stairwell, and the guys aren't even completely finished with the insulation. I think it will make a very large difference in the comfort levels up there. I just wish that it had been done for the new year, but it's really not that big a deal I guess.

The baby had dropped, but now is undropped again and occasionally pressing so hard on my belly from the inside that I feel like I have roving bruises (I don't). I don't think he really has enough room in there to wind up for a good kick any more (probably a good thing for me, since he's getting more coordinated) and ends up squirming around and stretching out instead.

Today I sent the What to Expect When You're Expecting book back to the library. I have to say it wasn't all that helpful, mostly telling me stuff I already knew and seeming slightly paternalistic in a sort of smarmy I-know-what's-best way; though I suppose some people might find that comforting. I'm very glad that I didn't buy it despite the urgings of various co-workers and the odd family member.

One major issue I had with it was they were very big on saying if you either didn't feel x amount of movements in x amount of time (valid) or if you felt "jerky, panicked movements" (wtf?) to call your doctor and get checked out. How am I supposed to tell fetal panic? I mean, for heaven's sake, the poor kiddo moves pretty jerkily to begin with anyway--how would you move if you hadn't really moved before? And I'm supposed to be able to tell that from out here? That kind of talk is crazy talk, in my opinion. If I called my doctor every time I felt jerky movements (I'm leaving out the panic part here, because I don't even know what that means) I'd be calling at least 10-20 times a day!

Regardless, I have some better reading now as I'm going through The Watchmen (borrowed copy that I bought for Andrew for Xmas... heh heh... no alternate motives in giving that gift... no sirree... heh).

Anyhow, should get back to work. Because yesterday was a stat, I figured I might as well come in today for my third workday of the week. It was probably a tactical error to do, because I have little motivation at the moment, and little energy. Thus I sit and type this out instead of walking over to the allergy office to pick up the papers I need to prep next week's clinic.

...oh well. Maybe I'll buy a yogurt parfait since I didn't bring a substantial breakfast with me...

Hope everyone out there had some good holidays--mine were good, if busy for the most part.

Unfortunately my blood pressure hasn't been the best (read: it is somewhat labile and on the high side occasionally which does not make my obstetrician happy), and now I have compromised by decreasing my work hours. The recommendation was to stop work entirely, but that would leave me at home and mostly bored and stressing about the renovations (which would be inescapable at home) and their cost (equally inescapable with the constant reminder). So I figure this might be the better solution. And she's not worried about the baby, just me (important, but not AS important) so it works out in my head.

However, I'm now not really supposed to go out and do things when not at work or do terribly exciting things. I'm also not to add salt to my food--not really an issue, since I've been trying to decrease it, which--I feel--is why the swelling in my feet/legs improved over the last while. I suppose this means no new year's partying for me, but a quiet night in. It's kind of what I wanted anyway, though I was hoping to be able to stop in at a friend's party for a short time in the early evening.

You know, for a mostly uncomplicated pregnancy, this has been overall a downer. There were about 1-2 good months in there, and the rest has been me not being able to eat or to go to the gym, and now me not being able to go to the gym, eat salt, or just go out in general. Don't get me wrong, because I wouldn't give it up for a minute and there are much worse things for people to have to wrestle with, but it would have been nice if it was a little easier for a little longer.

My current fantasy is going to the gym (especially doing resistance), and I'm not sure what to think of that. I wish I'd hopped on the ball a little sooner when I had my small window of gym-ness, but unfortunately I had to buy new exercise pants after a bit, which didn't happen soon enough to get me more than 2 weeks of gym time :P

But the baby countdown is counting down. I am now 37 weeks, which is encouraging, and the house will be looking better on the upper floor and most likely be warmer. So even if financially things will be temporarily difficult (why did costs for xmas, vacation, renovations, mat leave insurance, and baby things all have to fall at the same point on the calendar this year?) life will be looking up, and I'll just have to keep reminding myself of that.

Seeing as it's nearly the start of the new year here is some taking stock of life:

  1. I am relatively healthy, and what health problems I have are manageable and changeable.
  2. I have a loving husband and my family and friends are (mostly) there when I need them.
  3. I have a house that is safe for me to live in, and gets safer every year because I can make it safer.
  4. I have never been forced to go hungry.
  5. I have relatively small debts: mortgage, and soon a small line of credit for the renovations that will be manageable because I will make it manageable.
  6. I have a baby to take care of, and I will be able to do that.
  7. I have the chance to make a difference in people's lives.
And no matter how stressed out I get, I will have to try and remember these things because they are more important to keep in mind than my worries.

Oh yeah, I forgot...

AAARRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

This day sucked.

That is all.

Cloth diapers

Ok, there may not be all that many of you out there, but I'm curious on experiences people have had with cloth diapers.

Where do you get yours from (which brand, if you buy them)? Do you make them? Do they work well for you? How many do you need? How often do you end up doing laundry? Have you also used disposables in the past, and how did they compare?

Adrian is starting to become more interested in cloth diapers, and I've always been interested in them (though we will probably use disposables for the first bit since people have already supplied us with a fair amount of newborn and size 1 diapers). He discovered that they don't have to be flannel square cloths with pins, and so I am now looking into cloth diapers a little more seriously so please let me know if you have any info or suggestions to pass on...

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